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The sad tale of the drunken celebrant by James Oakley

20/8/2013

1 Comment

 
Picture
My friends and I were really excited to be guests at a mutual friend’s wedding. We had all been at university together and they really wanted us all to be guests on their special day and not have to do anything to help. Very kind of them to want to look after us like this.

Unfortunately they left it late to book their celebrant and so they were lumbered with, let’s call him ‘Barry’ (names have been changed!).

Barry was visibly drunk. He slurred words. He got the bride’s name wrong. He looked sweaty and scruffy. He made a number of inappropriate ‘jokes’ including one about there being a child locked in a cupboard under his stairs. If there was a checklist of everything you didn’t want from your celebrant, Barry ticked every box.

When it came to the party the bride and groom spent the first hour or so embarrassed and apologising for the conduct of their celebrant, when they should have been relaxing and enjoying themselves.

It’s a real shame they had this experience, when I know most Humanist celebrants have professional standards. They were very unlucky.

Text by James Oakley, image from Library
1 Comment
York Tranny link
10/5/2025 09:06:12 pm

It's unfortunate that their celebrant didn't meet expectations.

Reply



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  • Us
    • About us
    • Humanism
    • Testimonials
  • Weddings
    • Wedding Celebrants >
      • Barbara
      • David
      • James
      • Janis
      • Jude
      • Jules
      • Kate Bonney
      • Kath
      • Katie Q
      • Mark
      • Rose Ann
      • Russell
      • Yva
    • Marriage Fees
    • Humanist Weddings
    • Creating Your Ceremony
    • Wedding Resources >
      • Wedding Readings >
        • The Art of Marriage
        • Bob Dylan - Wedding Song
        • Captain Correlli’s Mandolin
        • Don’t Squeeze my Shoes
        • Harry Potter
        • A Lovely Love Story
        • The Moldy Peaches
        • Sonet 116
        • Miłość cierpliwa jest
        • The Proclaimers
        • The Promise
        • These I Can Promise
        • When Your Hair Has Turned To Winter
        • Winnie The Pooh
      • How to plan your perfect wedding ceremony
  • Funerals
    • Funeral Celebrants >
      • Annie
      • Barbara
      • David Simpson
      • Emily Cropton
      • Jude
      • Kath
      • Yva
    • Memorials
  • Blog
  • Contact
    • Wedding Booking Form
    • Funeral Booking Form